i am under a spell


so ripe, so dripping with luscious goodness it makes my inner thighs undulate like jello when wiggled at high rates of speed.



* C H E E S E F R I E S *



i never really understood the ethereal, butt-smacking qualities of a good pile o' cheese fries until i started hangin' out with my friend weasel.

yes, he did show me the way. underdogg in wicker park and the wiener's circle in that other area i don't know the name of. the first time i ate them, i stuck 7 fries to my inner thighs and did the funky chicken all up in dat bitch 'til the mizzuhfrizzuh cows came hizzome. well, okay, maybe not THAT exactly, but i'm sure it was some obnoxiously comparable ridiculosity.

back to the point of the original rant . . .

on the way back to the car, i found a cel phone amidst the doggy-poopy-dookie on the grassy curb. so i took it. here's the dilliyo with me and cel phones:
i still hate them and the vast majority of people that use them, even though i realize how a cel phone would make my life oh-so-much-easier. i thought i'd keep this thing and make it my little prison-bitch.


but the damned thing kept ringing . . .


so we got to my house and proceeded to party, like the rockstaas we are, on my roof. the mother friznickiting thing kept ringing and weasel kept trying to unlock it and we were both getting really frustrated,

so i wrestled it from weasels hands and chucked it onto the road below, smashing the deserving piece of plastic fantastic into little bits. weeee!


then of course i had to inflict further damage, so i ran down and stomped the fuck out of it with my stormtrooper boots of DEATH!

so yeah . . .


that's my cel phone rant.





hooray!