i don't usually read the horoscopes, but i was bored on the L and probably had just made eye contact with a person with a character more questionable than my own, so what else to do than insult the passionate spiritual beliefs of another person? it's great, lemme' tell ya!! my friend mark-in-michigan freaks me out with his belief in the stars sometimes. i'll tell him some retarded story over the phone and he'll be like, "that is SO aquarian of you," and i'll be like, "shut up you motherfucker".

but he HAS pointed out some fucked up coincidences that i can't remember offhand, but i kinda' wonder how deep this astrological brainwashing really goes.

ha ha haaaa

(just kidding, mark is one of my favorite people and probably a whole lot cooler than you)

MUAHA HA HA HA HAAAAAA

and speaking of phones, Ameritech is the modern-day reincarnation of adolf hitler. fuck everyone else up the hemmoraging poopshoot - watch out for Ameritech...you know how we look back and say, "how could they NOT see it coming? those god-damned german bastards must have some sort of recessive gimp gene to not predict THAT shit!" well, that's all i'm gonna' say about THAT, but to sum it up,








heh heh...yeah, i like that...

so, back to my original story:
i was reading my horoscope on the train and it said:

Ameritech can suck my sloppy, maggot-infested, crusty, pus-ridden cunt-hole...

always lookin' for excuses to blow off homework and get crazy, i accepted the next available offer to go out.

so i did.

have you crapped your pants lately?

well, i sure haven't, but it's about time i did.